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    The main problem with people like Johnathan Pentla The main problem with people like Johnathan Pentland in South Carolina is not the racism they go viral for, but all of the many other times they could have, but didn’t. The ideas they promote, the people they influence, the decisions they make or fail to make daily, the children they raise, the people they hire, the people they fire….it all matters. In a similar fashion, it's not just the headline scandals that make the news about racism in schools, it's the racism that happen in classrooms DAILY and harms ALL children. It's the gifted Black child that is misunderstood and never identified as gifted. It is the white child that needs Sped services, but is given the benefit of doubt and passed on from grade level to grade level without intervention. It's the students who are assumed to be less than because of where they live or the other language they speak at home. It's the assumptions made about a family because the the religion they follow (or don't) and how that impacts relationships with the family. It's the students who aren't served well because stereotypes and bias distort what the teacher can see. It's the child suspended and removed from the classroom without anyone identifying the teacher as the potential problem. It's the children who are or aren't encouraged to follow certain paths based on their racial or ethnic background. This harm can come from everyone's favorite IG kindergarten teacher, the sweet and bubbly teacher of the year, or even the teacher who thinks he/she/they have no work to do because they read that one book last summer. It's the racist harm caused with good intention. It's the failure to continue to examine our own biases and push ourselves to be better. We have been raised and conditioned in a racist society. There is always work to do in ourselves... even the "wokest" of us.
    One thing Black people are going to do is laugh or One thing Black people are going to do is laugh or smile to keep from crying, am I right, @thatssojohorrible? Just a quick memo to my white followers: Hello there! I never want to be perceived as rude, because I'm not. And I never know what to say when this happens (weekly it seems), but this week it has picked up and I have to advocate for myself and set some boundaries... 🙏🏿 please stop tagging me in videos or images that show Black trauma. I'm Black. I live it. Stop tagging me in your stories or DMing me your personal stories about finally realizing racism is real, finally realizing you have white privilege that protects you, or recalling a time you were racist that you are now "so embarrassed about" and "ashamed to admit." Tag your white friends. DM your white colleagues. Share with your white family. Teach your white kids. If you've learned from me, that's great, pay it forward and impact others. Do you think about the negative impact it has on me, a Black person you don't know, that you treat me like I'm your racial therapist- here to listen to your racist stories, rid you of white guilt, or cheer you on for simply now being able to identify racism? I don't care to know that you used to be "one of those white people" that said, "just comply", or that you don't usually speak out against racism, but now you're going to start. Why on God's green Earth would I need to know that? What is your goal? When I have the energy and don't immediately block people like this, I ask, "What was your goal in saying this to me? I don't know what you expect me to say." This is uncomfortable to write because I hate calling things out, but you teach people how to treat you, and apparently I've given the impression this behavior is welcome. It. is. not. Editing to add: If you have done this in the past please do not follow up by apologizing profusely or explaining yourself to me. It puts the burden on me to comfort you and say, "That's okay." I don't like being in that position. Also adding: Black people are not a monolith. My boundaries may not be the same as someone else. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”- Maya Angelou
    It wasn't an accident. It's systemic. Justice for It wasn't an accident. It's systemic. Justice for Daunte Wright and too many others. #blacklivesmatter
    "All my life, I have navigated the land mines of l "All my life, I have navigated the land mines of living Black in America, but along the way I have collected a strong network of white friends who pass the test I use for any person I call a friend, no matter what color. They are comfortable in their own skin, can talk about race without hyperventilating, are loyal and committed to the common good, have the courage of their convictions, are fun and interesting — and they never, ever ask to touch my hair.  The fight for racial justice must be fought on all fronts — ideally with a multiracial coalition — in the streets, in the courts, in the voting booth, in the workplace and even at the dinner table, where the seeds of justice or bias are often first planted." -Judy Belk My therapist and I were chatting today about interracial and cross cultural friendships. We talked about the value in having friends that show up and have your back especially where the rubber meets the road. If I don't feel safe with you or know without a shadow of a doubt that you have my back, including racially, I can not begin a friendship or remain in that friendship. I've befriended many people that later turned around and hurt me with racist words or actions later on. I'm a lot wiser and pickier now and I'm a better person for it. I know some people will think it's mean or claim they are more mature because they don't let "politics" ruin their friendships. Well, I sure do.
    "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." -Frank "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." -Franklin D. Roosevelt. And if I'm being super honest, I heard it first from @mikethesituation. 🤣 I love the growth I've made in the past few years and the boundaries I've put in place to make sure I'm surrounded by people who truly have my back. It's not an easy road, but it's a worth it road to travel. Dr. King said it best, "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
    BIPOC experience racism in some form on an almost BIPOC experience racism in some form on an almost daily basis. It is harmful and exhausting to navigate. To pretend as though you are the authority on another person's experience and comment on what is or isn't racism (no matter your intent) is harmful. If you claim to be an ally, and a BIPOC actually trusts you enough to share an experience with you, don't gaslight them. Believe them and then use your privilege to do something about it if you can. At some point, the "listening and learning" crew needs to begin to advocate consistently, take action often, and hold people accountable as needed. At some point you may find the need to return to a state of listening and learning (if you find that your "help" is actually causing BIPOC more harm), but that shouldn't be your perpetual state. Image ID: Racial gaslighting. Racial gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that makes people of color? -Natalie Morris example: a person of color shares her experiences with racism and the person they are talking to says "are you sure that's what happened?" "Karen has never spoken to me like that." "I don't think they meant it that way." "People have been rude to me too." "You guys make everything about race."
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